Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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