never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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