You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
try to milk me bitch
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