I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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