How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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