Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize