Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
