last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
