Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
