smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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