just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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