remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sober January is a disaster.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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