Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
