I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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