It's Friday. Sex?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
