i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
