I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
