how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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