Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
