Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
