Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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