KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
