If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
