Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
