I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
