Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
