He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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