Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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