Christians are straight up FREAKS
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize