HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
