Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
