I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
