I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
