Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
