who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
