i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
