to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
