I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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