just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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