Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
