I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
