And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I need moral support for this bender
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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