i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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