We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
