on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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