I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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