seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
