My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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