Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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