is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
