? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
