Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Alive.
So much puke
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
