I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize