NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
