I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
