the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
