the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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