i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
