So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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