don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
