Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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