All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
