It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
