dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
