wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
