im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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