I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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