my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
