Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
