I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
