I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
