I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
