1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
